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Yandros (Russ Robbins)   Місії
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Once again, the Hammers have come to me asking for help in retrieving one of their valuable, long lost relics. This time, Asmodan’s Icon of Death is the target, and it’s rumoured to be located deep in a tomb that’s known to be crawling with skeletal undead. The Icon is supposedly the prized possession of their ruler, known simply as ‘The Bone King’. My task is simple: get in, get the relic, and get out alive. Thanks to their overflowing coffers, the Hammers are willing to pay handsomely for the Icon – otherwise I’d have told them to forget it.

Knowing that bashing weapons excel against skeletons where edged do not – meaning my trusty sword is useless - the Hammers have grudgingly loaned me Bonecrusher, a holy mace blessed by St. Someone-Or-Other. They’ve also given me a modest supply of Brother Targa’s frag grenades, which he recently altered to not damage the thrower as much as earlier versions, and even threw in a few Mega-frags, which cause an even larger, more damaging explosion. In researching the Bone King’s realm, the Hammers uncovered some texts suggesting that the crypt he and his minions inhabit wasn’t always a crypt; it may have actually been part of a larger underground civilization in the distant past. If that’s true - or even half true - then it’s possible there are ancient artifacts, treasures and secrets just waiting to be uncovered by a seasoned veteran like me. I’ll need to be on the lookout for clues.

I managed to locate a man named Denaeus who sold me a crude map of the upper level of the crypt. He claimed that he and a friend named Twitty had recently bought maps of both the upper and lower levels from a crazy old man, and, using them, had gone in looking to plunder some loot. Somewhere on the upper level, they had been surprised by a skeleton patrol and had been separated in the ensuing panic. Denaeus had somehow made it out alive with the upper level map, but Twitty, who had the lower level map on her, never emerged from the crypts, and Denaeus presumed her dead. That map would come in handy, so hopefully I can locate what’s left of Twitty and nab the map. Denaeus said the skeletons were too creepy and numerous for his liking, and swore he’d never return even to find out what happened to his friend.

After hearing that, I knew I needed to be well armed, so I called on an underground contact and acquired some explosive-tipped arrows. Trying to boost her business, she threw in for free one of her newest magical creations – something called a “Benny Bomb”. When I pressed her for info about the device and its unusual name, she muttered something about ‘summoning the spirit of everyone’s favorite drunk buffoon to assist you’. Guess I’ll have to see what that means when the time is right. If it’s really my old pal Benny, let’s hope he’s learned how to kick ass by now.